Parenting impacts : A Short story.

Reading through some parenting books,I've came across some advices that tell you how to treat your kid and how not.

One of the things that rang a bell with me was "Never address a kids mistakes or short comes with titles "bad boy" or "Naughty" or anything that addresses HIM, but to address his mistake,or behavior as wrong,or inappropriate, this way the kid will understand that the shortcoming is with his behavior,which can be corrected,and not with him, addressing him with for his behavior will build up with time for him to believe that the problem is something he is born with,he cannot be fixed,which might lead to catastrophic results.

A Memory that lives within me,a personal experience that was of affect on me for a long time.

it was one of those big family barbecues, everyone is enjoying his shish kabob and basmati rice,everyone is socializing and having a good time, dinner is over, people are sitting and chitchatting,watching TV and enjoying dessert.
my father called my name,and asked me to pour water on the burning charcoal used for the grill.
his words were "pour the water on the charcoal and extinguish the flame"
i was 13-14 years old at that time,i nodded and brought a water filled jug and started to pour the water on the charcoal.

A Shout : "NOT LIKE THAT YOU DUMB", a wave of cracking laughter followed,my father came and snatched the jug from my hand angrily and with a disappointed yet pissed tone he said,"i don't know when will you learn to do something right!"

i was very embarrassed and stunned,i was wondering what did i do so wrongly,to deserve to be humiliated this way.

my father holding the jug now,poured the water on the open palm of his left hand so that water gets dispersed fanned out with the fingers pattern so it covers all the charcoals while the water pours,and not as a single stream of water like we pour into a cup.

looking at him,i understood what he meant,the charcoaled is no longer burning, and a teenage kid is wondering how the hell was i supposed to know this if i was not taught before?

Sure,i know my father wants whats best for me,i love my father,he is the reason why i am who i am as we speak now,i bet dear dad doesn't even remembers that incident and probably will think i am making all this up.

yet,what happened that day never left my memory,it became of those moments that perpetually came back to me to remind me of things i was not supposed to remember,it flashed in front of me the second i read that paragraph in the book,it was not an easily forgettable incident,especially when you are surrounded by a family that loves sarcasm,and roasting someone makes their day.

its tiny moments like these,that you,parents (and i stand among you) do, without even thinking it would sink this deep into your kids mind,that shapes his emotional health.

remember that,folks,and please think before you speak to your kid.

The Sweetest Fruit

been listening to this song a lot lately,this part always catches my attention,very touching and meaningful.

Inspiring how you're proud of your scars.

Dark as night,you look out for the stars

Beautiful,and you are proud of your flaws.

you don't ask for an approval or a round of applause

but my heart claps in rhythm and all

and my eyes cooled by what they saw

beautiful just the way that you are,

and when i see you i remember Allah

who else could have been known but you.

like a pillar standing firm in truth

a tree with the deepest roots

the darkest berries and the sweetest juices

and the proof of your labor is your baring fruits

submission to the wind cause you graceful moves

and you are humble in your modest ways,

the arrogance stopped,the lower gaze,

you over speaks of the darker day

you made it through,

you are the proof we are gonna be okay

cause only struggle can produce strength

and your eyes i see it taking shape

like a current curves the river banks

once winding like a snake

so over time it will always take

the path that is truly straight

over time it will always make,

the river carved till the path is straight..

the Poet/rapper is Baraka Blue,a Sufi Muslim from Seattle,with his roots originally from Yemen, he has this interesting way of blending rap and hip hop in a genre that he calls spiritual hip hop.

The Song on Youtube...those lines start at about 3:11

The Curious Case of Baby Eloise and Emma Di Silva

The Curious case of Emma Di Silva...who was announced brain dead after a car accident,but with her husband insisting to keep her on life support and letting her 19 days old baby sleep on her chest daily for skin to skin time,she woke up and came back to life.

On the 14th of March 2011, Emma De Silva and her 19-day-old daughter Eloise set out for their daily afternoon walk. Only metres from home, a car mounted the curb knocking Emma into the air, before colliding with Eloise in her pram.

Baby Eloise suffered head and shoulder injuries and was in hospital for a week. Emma suffered catastrophic brain injuries and her husband, Yoshi, was advised to turn off her life-support machines. He refused, but Emma was so severely brain damaged she was not expected to recover.

Once Eloise was discharged from hospital, Yoshi was determined to ensure mother and baby had the chance to bond. He began a daily ritual of taking Eloise into the hospital and placing the tiny newborn, skin-to-skin, on the chest of her deeply unconscious mother.

At first there was nothing, but what happened next defied all medical expectations. When Eloise was placed on her mother, Emma began to move: first a fluttering of the eyes, then a finger. Finally, after being in a coma for 84 days, Emma woke up holding her baby daughter in her arms.

Both Yoshi and Emma’s doctors are convinced that skin-to-skin contact with Eloise played a vital role in Emma’s miraculous recovery. Dr. Graham Reynolds, a leading Australian Paediatrician, Neonatologist, and Ambassador of IAIM says this makes sense. “It is not exaggerating to say that touch is probably one of the most important aspects of healthy development for both parents and a baby.”

“For unwell and premature babies, touch can literally mean the difference between life and death. Skin-to-skin contact reduces the time these fragile babies are in hospital and it improves their development in the long-term. Even for healthy babies, touch affects all aspects of a child’s development – such as sleep, settling and even their long term mental health and their behavioural, cognitive and social development.”

“Skin-to-skin contact with their baby also affects the brain activity of mothers. It reduces anxiety and improves brain wave patterns. Controlled trials have shown mothers who attended a baby massage course with the International Association of Infant Massage experienced reductions in symptoms of postnatal depression, and their babies developed much better over the long-term too. Yoshi’s instincts to bring Emma and Eloise together were spot on.”

Emma is now looking forward to a long and happy life being a mum to Eloise. With help, Emma is able to feed her baby and care for her in ways that most parents take for granted. But both Emma and Yoshi have a punishing road ahead with an unrelenting physical therapy program, and the need for specialist equipment and ongoing supports.

The IAIM classes are open to all families with a baby up to 12 months old, and are suitable for healthy babies as well as those with additional needs. Dr Reynolds says, “This is a wonderful way ordinary parents can help out the DeSilva family, while at the same time bringing a part of Eloise’s magic touch into their own lives”

From The international association of infant massage

Follow up on Emma here

This Video is not to be missed!

#JedBlueDay : Remembrance of Nov 25th

November 25h, marked the second anniversary of #JeddahRain tragedy that happened back in 2009, a historical rainstorm that marked a day of unforgotten tragedy to all the residents of the city, with a death toll of 120 lives (reported) and more than 350 people missing.

No one who lived in jeddah can deny the damage that affected every house in jeddah that day,if you were safe,someone who is related to you,your friend or coworker,must got affected,either by his house getting flooded,or his car,or at least got stranded in the streets that were at that day nothing but a catastrophic scene of chaos.

of course media and social networks rage followed,a famous hashtag was created #jeddahRain and everyone is blaming the other on why this happened,some said the rain was the heaviest in 27 years and the cities infrastructure was not built to withstand such soaking rain, others blamed the flooding to the corruption and negligence of certain officials and government sectors who were responsible to foresee such events and prepare for it long term and short term.

City residents demanded a public prosecution of all the officials who were responsible for the tragedy, and as we all know, an investigation was initiated,however up until this second, no one have been condemned or found guilty.

Stories are a lot,scars are even more,memories are stuck in everyones minds, sadly in a city that rarely sees rain like jeddah,its population does not get excited when they see the dark clouds like they used to anymore,it immediately puts the city under alert and the families hold their kids from going to schools and everyone gets ready for a scene that they pray for it not to occur.

its 2011 now and the rain season is upon us once again,on the anniversary of that tragic day,a group of jeddah youth were gathered in the district that was one of the worst victims of that day,and in an act of solidarity to everyone who was affected by the tragedy they did a field visit to all the houses and families that the volunteers helped during those dark days and as a reminder of the tragedy so that it will never be forgotten.

you can see a youtube of the event here :

it ended with the saying "We will never forget,We will never forgive".

Shoura Council Member Mr.Najeeb alZamil wrote in AlEqtisadiya newspaper about this youtube sharing his sentiments with the youth.

What is your memory of that day? where were you? do you know anyone who got affected by the rain? share your experience.

8 Parentings best kept secrets

Kids are a blessing,they fill your life with joy,laughter and unreasonable happiness,but everything comes with a price,some are fun,and some are just meant to be remembered after its all said and done..so i am giving you inside info about what you might face in the future so you know that you have been warned! here it goes:

-your vacuum will go out of the job, you son will suck everything before the vacuum does

-the last place to find your bookmark in, is your book, and if you were lucky, it's never on the page you were reading.

-your hair brush becomes you kids favorite fork for spaghetti,and some times if she was a girl she might experiment hair style using spaghetti and noodles.

-your ten minute naps are always full of surprises waiting for you when you wake up.

-diaper rash cream is your kids favorite shaving cream,and some times, hair gel too.

-your kids can give you a live demonstration of how destructive a nuclear bomb can be, just leave them in a room for ten minutes while you shower, it's more than enough for the disaster to happen.

-Morning Alarms will become history,you will always hear "mama" when its time to wake up,give it ten more minutes of extra sleep and you will get a vibration function with too little hands shaking you to wake up.

-finding your belongings where you left them will be a thing of the past, it will be so forgotten you will tell your kids bed time stories about how once upon a time there was a man called daddy,and he used to leave his wrist watch on a coffee table,and comes back and find it right where he left it!

Yet,you will still be very happy for all the things they do,and you can never be thankful enough for having them.. :)

Are you a parent? share some of your hidden gems!

Mile Street [Photo]

So,i am finally getting the courage to do something i always wanted to do,i will start publishing some of my photography work here in my blog,but i will keep the ones on my blog to show the process through which i deliver my work.

This Photo was taken in Chicago in Winter 2009..it was a rainy/snowy day in the Mile Street,the most well known shopping spot in Chicago.

Please roll your mouse over the image so you can see the image,straight out of the camera,and after editing and processing.

I am not a photojournalist,my work is not meant to be an accurate replication of the reality and its not intended to deliver it.

i take pictures to express a vision i have in my mind and i work with the aim to deliver that image to the viewer,so the image that you see might not exist in reality as you see it,but how i visualize it through my camera.

So Welcome to my realm,sit back and enjoy,and i would be glad to hear your comments,and if it got good interaction,i shall make this a frequent post.

What can you miss in 4 years?

Two weeks ago,the US media paid close attention to the Italian courts in the law suit against Amanda Knox the US exchange student who was accused in 2007 of sexual assault and murdering her English roommate Meredith Kercher in her apartment in the widely known quiet city of Perugia,Italy.

The conviction was reversed and she was exonerated,she finally returned home in seattle,WA,among her family and friends once again.

Undeniably,such incidences are not something that anyone would want to happen to any one anywhere in the world,its shocking and grieving,especially with the conviction reversal,the trial was not considered a victory,since the real killer remains unknown and on the loose.

i paid close attention to the trial on what growing to be my favorite radio channel WUNC,as i heard all what was happening and the circumstances of it,my mind dived in its own thoughts,how an exchange student full of enthusiasm and excitement flying to one of Europe most iconic countries,and within a week her life turns up side down,and remains so for 4 years.

so i thought "i wonder what did she miss in those 4 years,after all,4 years can pass in front of someone like a blink of an eye.

so i decided to do some research,to see what are the key events that happened in 2007-2008,2009,2010 and 2011.

A lot! Not only Amanda missed the running,election and inauguration of her country's first African American President,and the running of the first female presidential candidate,or the death of Saddam Hussain,but also missed witnessing the infamous financial crisis of 2008,which still resonate with effects till today.

Summoning my research,i found that Amanda have missed over 500+ global events in the time she was in jail,and i only realized how many they were when i decided to list them in a blog.

but then again,as i took the back seat in my usual procrastination,overwhelmed by the amount of events that took place in those four years,i gave it a second thought.

Amanda is an average American girl who went to study outside of her country when the mishap happened,so what did Amanda really,really miss?

i came up with a few:

-She Definitely missed the inauguration of President Obama,and Sadly she was released in a time when his popularity is on the decline.

-ِAm sure she did not miss the job market decline,probably she won't believe the drop in economy and how it affected life in US.

-Last time she used a cellphone,it used to only make phone calls,texts,and some phones have emails.

-She missed 4 Generation of the revolutionary iPhone,the Phone that changed communication,and yet evolves to improve day by day.

-She missed the Launch of Android OS,the iPad.

-She Definitely missed 5 seasons of Greys Anatomy,3 Seasons of Lost,2 of Prison Break.

-Last time Amanda used the internet,Facebook was merely a social website to connect with your friends,i bet by now she is in a culture shock of what Facebook is now.

-Twitter,the 140 letters that flipped 3 presidents and was a cornerstone in the ignition of the Arab Spring.

-YouTube becoming a replacement for entertainment and TV for many internet users,last time Amanda used youtube,it was still something very new.

-Music enthusiasts significantly shift from CDs into Digital MP3 as the main way to purchase,listen to music.

-Netflix Online Streaming,which started in 2008.

-Paris Hilton going to Jail,and Britney spears going bold,Micheal Jackson Dies and his Funeral becomes the first live youtube funeral in history.

-Apple Takes the lead to become worlds biggest computer corporate.

-Definitely she missed this

-And this

These are probably the highlights of what would the average Amanda have missed,i bet she have a lot of catching up to do, luckily for you Amanda,missing on technology means you will only get whats coming next,which is always better,so will follow up pretty quick.

What else,follow readers,do you think Amanda would have missed?

Disclaimer: This post is intended to be light weighted post about what is considered to be a heavy matter,so the humor is intended,and its NOT by any means intended to degrade the loss of Amanda's friend and Meredith's family,its intended as a light hearted welcome back to Amanda Knox to the US.